A Love Letter To Hell
My dear,
You didn’t get a knock on your door when he first arrived
You received a bang.
A warning. That went from your stomach through your heart and into your head
You could never quite understand the warning
It was simple. It told you to run.
He felt unsafe.
Unreal.
Through all the benefits and the doubts
You were sunshine before him and here you are glowing again
But warmth is a tricky thing
For if they stop noticing it
Stop looking at it
Stop attending to your sunshine
It can catch on.
That’s where sunshine becomes wildfire
Then the wildfire turns into hellfire
You were his hellfire
Burning. Stabbing. Constant.
You set ablaze his illusions and revealed his failures and flaws and fears underneath
But you also set ablaze the part that was trying
You spotlighted his wounds - sometimes with care. Sometimes without.
And here you are spotlighting him again
Unrelenting. Unflinching.
Always disappointed.
Your fire is hurtful. Even cruel at times
But the fire is fuelled by fear
His and yours.
It’s the marriage between your wounds that never got to be shown and seen.
He hid his; you flagged yours
But still you burn him
with the same light that he once basked in
You are the same warmth.
The fire was tenderness
Not yet hell.
You are a beautiful summer’s day.
Can I still compare thee to a summers day?
You are not fury.
You are hell.
But not your own.
For you broke that tether.
You didn’t leave. You escaped
With your fire and your warmth
Rescued from yourself by yourself
Now look at you
Basking in your own light.
You are sunshine.
You are the summers day lost.
But you must still learn to contain your warmth.
You are your sunshine. Only yours.
Yours truly,
Hell