A Love Letter To Hell

My dear,

You didn’t get a knock on your door when he first arrived

You received a bang.

A warning. That went from your stomach through your heart and into your head

You could never quite understand the warning

It was simple. It told you to run.

He felt unsafe.

Unreal.

Through all the benefits and the doubts

You were sunshine before him and here you are glowing again

But warmth is a tricky thing

For if they stop noticing it

Stop looking at it

Stop attending to your sunshine

It can catch on.

That’s where sunshine becomes wildfire

Then the wildfire turns into hellfire

You were his hellfire

Burning. Stabbing. Constant.

You set ablaze his illusions and revealed his failures and flaws and fears underneath

But you also set ablaze the part that was trying

You spotlighted his wounds - sometimes with care. Sometimes without.

And here you are spotlighting him again

Unrelenting. Unflinching.

Always disappointed.

Your fire is hurtful. Even cruel at times

But the fire is fuelled by fear

His and yours.

It’s the marriage between your wounds that never got to be shown and seen.

He hid his; you flagged yours

But still you burn him

with the same light that he once basked in

You are the same warmth.

The fire was tenderness

Not yet hell.

You are a beautiful summer’s day.

Can I still compare thee to a summers day?

You are not fury.

You are hell.

But not your own.

For you broke that tether.

You didn’t leave. You escaped

With your fire and your warmth

Rescued from yourself by yourself

Now look at you

Basking in your own light.

You are sunshine.

You are the summers day lost.

But you must still learn to contain your warmth.

You are your sunshine. Only yours.

Yours truly,

Hell

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A Love Letter From Hell